Getting that first date is really tough for most men. Unfortunately, guys often do things that scare away their potential dream woman. It is like hitting the self-destruct button just when things are going great for you.
This may seem strange, but it happens to most guys. But why?
It is mainly driven by panic, fear, and insecurity. This causes men to commit several mistakes, which only end up putting a woman off.
Let’s look closely at how it happens and some simple methods you can use to secure a future with the perfect date.
Why Men Panic
Realizing that the girl you are dating is “perfect” can make you do dumb stuff.
You start wondering how on earth such a perfect woman lacks a man. Surely, she must have richer, cuter, and sexier men chasing her every day, right?
You start to think she will meet another man, who will promptly snatch her away. You panic, and declare your feelings to secure a commitment, before another man beats you to it.
Why She Is Dating You
A girl comes out on a date to size you up, and see how much fun you are. That is all.
Dates are a time to relax and get to know the other person. It is not a match making contest with imaginary competition.
She is definitely interested, or she would never have accepted the date in the first place. She is not sure about you yet, and cannot possibly commit to anything immediately. This is until she is comfortable and certain that you are not a psycho, or total idiot.
Once you keep this in mind, you will not rush to shoot yourself in the foot by messing up.
Trying To Commit Too Early
The desperation that sets in after a first date makes you rush the future. You are wired as a man to think a woman craves commitment. This may be true, but not during the early stages of dating.
If you make a commitment too early, she will immediately know you are desperate. Do not say things like, “I really want to be with you for a long time”, or “I want to share my whole life with you”. To a woman, you are actually proposing!
Panic makes you rush to secure a commitment with her before she slips from your grasp. This may sound crazy, but you are only doing it out of desperation.
This displays a lack of confidence and self belief. She will sense this and get scared, making that your last date.
You may also get too possessive, especially when you realize she has a life of her own. This happens when she goes out without you, takes a trip with her friends, or makes weekend plans without you. This scares you. It makes you think your date is seeing someone else, or she does not enjoy being with you.
Women will not make plans with you, unless the two of you are close. She must also be sure about a relationship with you. This takes time. Every woman knows calling a man is a bad move, so she will live her life until you call again.
Nagging thoughts haunt you again. You start calling her persistently.
Who is she with? Is she at another man’s house? Why did she sound out of breath when you called?
An instinctive part of you wants to check on her, to allay your insecurities. You start acting like she is your property. Endless texts and calls follow, which inevitably scares her away.
How To Secure The Girl Of Your Dreams
Women love confident men. Dating a woman involves believing that you are good enough for her.
Yes, no one is perfect, and she knows that. She does not want to feel like she is doing you a favor by dating you. And neither would you.
The best approach is to be yourself, have fun, and the rest will follow. Here are the best techniques for doing this:
Do Not Promise
Firstly, bear in mind that dating is a game, and women love playing. Like a game of cards, do not show your hand, or the game is over.
How do you do this?
Simple really- do not make promises whatsoever. Why would she believe you anyway? You are just a stranger making promises about the future to someone you hardly know.
Does that sound like something a sensible person would do? Do not say, “When you meet my family…” or, “When we start living together…”
Show her you like her through compliments. Do not flatter her. Simply say things like, “You are really good at selecting colors…” or “I love your choice of movies.” These compliments are very subtle, but she will get the message loud and clear.
Look At Her
How you look at a woman speaks louder than words. Do not stare at her like a maniac.
Think of something really nice about her when you make eye contact, and it will show in your eyes. Your eyes can show desire, without you uttering a word.
Have Fun Without Expectation
This is very important. Women love a good time, so show her you are laid back, easy going, and great fun to be with.
She will be addicted to your company. Do not get tense, sweaty, and cotton mouthed. It will totally scare her off!
How To Ensure She Sees You Time And Again
Great guys use subtle ways of showing a woman what life together is like. Ask her about interesting experiences and adventures.
Instead of directly asking her out again, simply say, “Have you ever tried the ice cream at Joe’s? OMG! You have to taste it!” or “Have you ever gone bungee jumping? It is the most amazing thing ever!”
Leave it at that. She will picture the two of you doing fun things, and sharing new adventures. This romantic picture of the two of you together will be glued to her mind. From then on, she will be dying to call and spend every minute with you.